Sunday, March 22, 2009

Let's skip the argument and just get undressed.

If you're not saying what you mean, you probably don't mean what you say.

Someone told me once (or twice, or eleven times) that I was "a little TOO honest". While I've never forgotten that, I've never really cared much either.

I know all the reasons WHY people aren't absolutely honest. Fear takes the cake as the number one reason why people don't say what's on their minds. Fear of rejection, fear of being alone, fear of what other people may think about you, the list goes on. Also, keeping the peace is high on the list of why people don't just let things fall out of their mouths at a constant rate. Also, love, and other forms of caring, hold us back from blurting things out. It can be a really fine line between cleansing your mind and hurting someone's feelings.

It is interesting though how uncomfortable true honesty can make some people. For being honest, I've been called a (insert whatever you want here). But where's the line? Every single person that I've talked to about this gives the same tag line, that they want to hear the truth.

But do they really?

Some time ago, not really your business how much time as my point is not to embarrass anyone, I was dating a man that I finally decided to sleep with. For the most part, it was better than decent, he got a 7.5 in my twisted book. One night though, it was just off, and it was both of us (takes two people to have sex usually, so I think that means it takes two people to throw it off). I'd had a small amount of wine, and of course by small amount I mean probably 3 or 4 glasses, and I tested my theory by telling him that it was terrible. Of course, he got mad, but he proved my point. That despite how many times he had told me that he wanted me to be absolutely honest with him, he really didn't.

Does this mean that I just go around telling everybody everything, good and bad? No way. It probably makes me a hypocrite even, because I know that not everyone can handle it so I keep things to myself all the time. Also, some things may be unnecessary to say out loud. If my honesty is only going to hurt someone and serves no other purpose at all than that, I tend to keep those things to myself. But if I thought it could help, even as difficult as it may be to say, I try to do my best. It's not a science.

I do have to say though, that I am wowed by the people that I can really be honest with and that are truly honest with me. I do care about a lot of people that I know cannot do this, for whatever reason. It doesn't make them bad, just different in ways of thinking.

I'm thinking of telling the truth a few times about you?


  1. I always want truth, tempered with kindness. I'm just too senstive to take it bluntly!
    Nice to see you!*hugs*

  2. the truth CAN hurt, but presented in the right way, anyone who is honest to him/herself should accept it. It IS hard at times.

    I'm glad to read you again... it's been awhile {hugs}

  3. I'm a big fan of being tactful, personally. though I often fail at my attempts.

  4. For as much as men say they want honesty, try asking how they feel if you DON'T fake the orgasm.

    My dishonesty, 9 times out of 10, is simply to keep peace. Sometimes, being honest just creates more friction.

  5. Funny how friction and fiction become opposites like that.

  6. steve, are you saying that you fake 9 out of 10 orgasms? hehehe..

  7. No, I think he's saying that she does.

  8. Nice to see you. I know I always WANT honesty, but boy it's hard to hear sometimes....


  9. I don't believe in pulling punches. I hate how wussified things have become these days. I'll take the cold, hard truth over a glaze of bullshit any day of the week.

  10. The truth is good if it's helpful. Not the, 'OH MY GOD YOUR FACE IS HIDEOUS' kind of truth, unless there is enough money in the bank to go get surgery.

    Good on you for having the metaphorical balls!

  11. I can't respect anyone that can't be truthful with me. I'd rather feel the sting of the truth than the twisting of the knife.